Tram on the Right…

After completeing my inaugural Glamour Tram excursion, this time with trailers filled with humans, I run inside the drivers breakroom. A mixed bag of nuts waits inside.

A card game is taking place in the corner of this trailer we all call home. A thick cloud of cigarette smoke hovers above a pile of cash, as drivers shout, “I’ll Raise ya!”

These are the cool group to be in… it appears. They sure are having fun, anyways. Others appear dejected or mad, as certain people are paired off.

Everyone seems to need or is on some medication.

Viktor and Tilda are taking long, deep drags from their fags. They seem discontented, as if they hate being here. Isolated in the part of the trailer that resembles a complaint department. Iris is the subject of contention.

Dick, my class mate, just took his first tour, and Ted, my actor buddy, is out on a shuttle bus. We have indicative duties and tasks related to the different fleet operation tasks. We do much more than operate Glamour trams….

Outside the breakroom, alone as always, is Professor John. He tucks himself away from the noise and smoke that permeates inside and reads books like War and Peace…outside. He prefers the smog we call L.A.

I mingle and meet these tour veterans like I’m at some cocktail party. The Guides have their own trailer to dress and relax. We normally only interact on trams… and in bars! That would be after the L.T.D leaves dispatch…Last tram of the day!

Suddenly, from the notorius speaker on the wall…

Viktor gets called “Viktor, tram on the left, sir”

Iris sounded nice to me on these two requests to both of us.

“Donnie-tram on the right”

As I walk towards our trams with my Russian colleague, he smokes and cusses as long as he can, right before greeting the guests. “I want to kill that M.. F er!” Viktor fumes.

“He’s trying to F’ with me” Viktor continues on as he flicks his cigerette butt on to the pavement, in anger.

Iris sounded pretty nice to me anyway… I’m not sure why Vik and Tilda hate him?

I climb in my power unit and face 125 happy faces and one prune looking face. That face belongs to Austin, he is our tour guide. Unlike Laurie before, Austin ignores me.

He has an attitude going on, I can tell already…

I’m the only happy employee, besides Iris, in this area… Austin should be paired with Viktor…on a Glamour Tram tour from hell.

Lots of quietness as we begin our tour, just my trams engine. But I see a bunch of happy kid’s faces in my mirrors. All wearing orange T-shirts identifying some specific day camp. They can’t wait for their energy to be matched by our tour guide.

Austin sits quietly, disengaged from this entire tram. I feel like taking his microphone from him. Proceeding all the way to the Gallactic Encounter animation, only the mandatory safety rules have been spoken. Austin is ignoring everyone.

He acts as if he is to dignified to talk to children, as they pop – bubble gum bubbles on their lips. The kids stare back, blankly at Austin with his British look and demeanor. Don’t tread on me… is the mood in this unit right now.

The kids and I enjoyed our short little tour. I trade them in now for another group ready to leave… the Robert Wagner wax and audio experience complex.

Well lucky me, little Laurie is headed my way with another tour group. I’m about to do the long, second half of the guided tram tour, with living guests, not mannequins. I will rely on and apply all of Dennis’s personalized tutorlidge on Glamour Trams.

I shout “Watch your arms and legs” to each car as I safely close each tram gate. I remember to remove my wheel chock so we can safely move forward.

Laurie repeats the safety rules as the energy level rachett’s up as we head towards the tightly packed property wearhouse. Laurie has been on my mind since our first tour group drop off this morning.

Now I get to see her entire catalouge on display. She is what I expected a World Wide tour guide to be.

Cute, energetic, perky, and professional. Laurie has a gift to gab and is also wonderful  eye candy to boot. She is also informative…kids and adults appreciate her smooth style.

We finish my first complete tour ever with a large round of applause, for Ms. Laurie and myself. In our very brief time, we have started developing Glamour Tram chemistry.

As we wink and say our initial (Good- by’s)… I kind hope it carries over soon to a… Glamour Tram night! 

Written and lived by Donnie Norden… page 12









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