Make sure we get David’s “Good Side“
Lets create some L.A Traffic
This guy has as much fun around here as me…
The STUD of the lot in the early 80s…I watched his career blossom alongside…The Glamour Tram
There is always more than one. In this series, cars get equal billing. But we only have” One David“
O.K we have two–who knew? And Six Kits Cars…
“Plug him in -see if he works- says Special Effects
The Ides of March
David Hasselhoff is like our studio’s version of Julius Caesar. The Kitt Car thinks it’s “the star,” and this car even talks. Come visit one of them, they are parked all over the lot. One talks to our tourists if you wait in a short line. Ask it anything about David when he’s not behind the wheel. This car and “The Hoff ” are tied to the leather seat upholstery by a seatbelt.
“The Vehicle” formerly named T.A.T.T. which translates to Trans Am Two Thousand. This high functioning picture car is based off a Pontiac Trans Am. WorldWide Studios made truckloads of money off a similar design the Burt Reynolds made famous on Smokey and the Bandit. My Tram Driver uniform jacket was designed after Burt’s jacket in that blockbuster hit. I pretend I’m Burt as I drive around the studio in my shiny silver jacket. It covers a red shirt that looks like an ice cream vendor would wear. Black Polyester pants that radiate in the hot valley sun complete my attire.
Burt is too big for T.V shows these days, so we hired this German Guy fresh off a daytime T.V series...Dr. Snapper was his characters name. The series, The Young and Restless, launched another career. A Glamour Tram tour guide was hired to star in this daytime soap opera. Blazing a trail for Day Tripper on Day Time T.V.
It’s Fun Being Burt…
This Trans Am car spinoff is a hit on N.B.C and Burt, A.K.A Sonny Hooper deserves car credits. Burt and David have things in common besides women hanging all over them, that would be…Trans Am Vehicles. These wonderful lyrics, written back in 1970 for my generation.
Ides of March- this classic tune written in 1970 is a perfect fit for this studio tour. We have vehicles of all shapes and sizes in our Transportation Department.
The Vehicle
Inside my tram is the voluptuous Berlin Busty. Of German Descent, she gives…Great Tours!.Now she is a specialty plate of all things “Deutsch.” An absolutely stunning model, extremely tanned and well endowed, she speaks fluid German. One of her “other jobs” is an interpreter for the German Consulate. Non of our other guides are diplomats, a few strip at local Hollywood Clubs at night, true Knight Riders…
This morning the two of us start a tour that is informative if you speak German. I read the lips and faces of both the guests. My gorgeous Fraulein is armed with a sharp tongue and a ten inch microphone. She answers questions in German, I imagine in English.
This morning as we drive into a bright sunrise, Knight Rider is on the backlot today. Our guests are eating Butterbrots and Wursts. I look German. Sylvester Stallone once offered me a part as a German Soldier on a film made on this lot. The film is titled Paradise Alley. This is a very Nordic Tour.
“Busty” told me on a previous tour while we were alone briefly about her career goals. “Break into the Hollywood Scene is all.” Just like every other guide who gets behind the microphone I think to myself. “The money here is so low, I wouldn’t get by without-side jobs.” What exactly are those side jobs” I blurt out as the empty tram heads back to tram dispatch?
“I do film work, just got back from Mexico on an adult film.” The rubber of my Glamour Tram tires grips the road tightly. We are climbing a hill in my 16 wheeler. My hands are gripping the steering wheel just as tightly. Berlin continues in perfect English-“I do a lot of work on Magnum P.I in Hawaii, Bikini background scenes on the beach mostly.” What a diverse resume as I drive as slow as this empty tram can go…
On today’s tour, I realize we are being stalked by a Trans Am. It’s David Hasselhoff, he often pulls up alongside trams in the Kitt Car. We are driving slowly down New York Street. The Knight Rider Base Camp is set up on the backside of this street. Michael Knight peruses the tram.
“Who’s the German Girl behind the microphone?”…asks the inquisitive KITT.
On my side of the tram is…Berlin Busty in a Bikini on a Bill board. Like a vulture swooping in, here comes Michael Knight.
Tram 8313 is now on K.I.T.T.’s radar, their is an interaction that is all things German. At each turn, it seems Michael speeds by. He only slows down to stare at 175 fanatics who are in the midst of a Glamour Tram Breakfast.
Ms. Busty seems to be a star favorite, Tom Selleck, grab your snorkel. David Hasselhoff shares your same interests…
My tour guide is a star, especially in Germany and Hawaii…watch out for Bruce the Shark!
Who wants to drive in that Ferrari anyways? say K.I.T.T.
I don’t speak German fluently. However, I interpret many languages. Our guides could double as Flight Attendants on any International Flights. I feel like a pilot for Lufthansa today.
As we wind down our specialty tour, I help guests unwind in our closing act, The Spinning Tunnel of Ice. Laughter and screams translate the same in every language. I just hope my guests can hold down their Sauerbraten as we conclude our guided tour. These folks started early because they have a plane to catch…Tschuss, Auf Wiedersehen, Lebe wohl, Mach’s gut, Ich Mus los and so on…
See You- Ms. Busty- On T.V, On Trams, and appearing somewhere “Knightly” near you!
Written and lived by….Donnie Norden
Glamour Tram Stories 