Get Smart-A Tour with agent 86…

 Join us on a nostalgic journey through the Worldwide Backlot. We will explore the whimsical world of “Get Smart,” the iconic spy comedy. It introduced us to the hilarious antics of Agent 86, portrayed by the legendary Don Adams. This beloved television show aired from 1965 to 1970. It was a clever satire of the spy genre. It captivated audiences with its unique blend of humor and action.

“Get Smart” offers a reminder of laughter’s power. It also highlights the importance of teamwork in even the most absurd situations. So grab your shoe phone. Get ready to join Agent 86 on a wild adventure. It will be filled with laughs, surprises, and delightful- chaos!

 We begin;

My name is called, and I receive instructions from Lead Dispatcher Iris over the intercom. The break room is filled with smoke. A Poker Game is interrupted…

I do actually. Yet he is also the most hated to go with highest paid. Just ask anyone in the overly medicated driver break room. My man, Iris, just called me over to dispatch, he has a special treat for me…a VIP tour for a TV icon, Don Adams. Iris surprises me with “did you watch the TV show Get Smart?”

“Of course” I retort…”well agent 86 is on your VIP trolley”….”give him whatever tour he would like!”as Iris blows me a kiss.

“Will do”, as I salute and run to my San Francisco style trolley, always reserved for higher end guests.

There he is. A trolley full of kids is being entertained by Tour Guide Paul. I jump on board excitedly. I put this ride in gear as I exchange pleasantries with these special guests.

The Tram tour begins…

We start off in a 12 seat trolley as opposed to his two seater red Sun Beam. His TV show has the coolest opening credits of any. I sit and watch Don in my mirrors as I plow ahead into our first animation… The Evil Cylons. I catch quick peeks of him and his kids. They react to the loud colorful laser mayhem. They paid good money to see this.

I can already tell this is going to be a memorable tour…Tour Guide Paul is one of our funniest guides and Mr. Adams interacts with us like we fit in with his family!

 

A few years back 1980, Don worked himself as a tram driver. In a film titled-The Nude Bomb”

An Evil Place …is our first stop

Our Guide Paul is perfect for this afternoon. He’s funny with a patient delivery and intelligent. Most guides want to be actors-he’s cut out more like an “agent.” Like an agent talking to an agent…Agent 86, meet Paul- one of the best guides and agents on our lot. Paul and I often run into KAOS on these tours.

Here we are, Paul and I, entertaining a Television Icon and his kids. I’ll give them an 8 hour tour if they wish. Make a celebrity laugh after years of him making me laugh on Friday Nights. The Cone of Silence today is a cone of “laughter and history.” A synergy of A Comedy, our funniest guide, and me. I’m known to follow rules loosely just cause “We all have a real Good Time around here”…

The only way this is better is if I was driving A Red Sunbeam. This trolley car will have to suffice. I was born to do Studio Tours-my stories are better than the Tour Guides. The top trespasser in Hollywood is driving the top secret agent in America. This is a tour we hope never ends.

We descend downwards to the bowels of the studio production area. Other tourists have noticed us. They rubberneck, knowing or just wondering who’s on board this open air VIP Trolley. Our guests briefly exit the trolley for a “make up show.” Paul powders his face, cleans his glasses, while remaining in the tour guide seat. This area is like a beauty pageant contest.

Lucy– or more specifically, a “stroller” or “double” for the the leading lady usher my guests inside. After 20 minutes, everyone rejoins my part of the driven tour. Paul, asks a question of Agent 86 as he steps back into our vehicle, “Who was your favorite director?” Don, using his Maxwell Smart voice, responds without hesitation, “Bruce Bilson.” I see Bruce’s name on credits ranging from Andy Griffith to Hogan’s Heroes. He directed more episodes of Get Smart than anyone and his name is attached to the greatest T.V Series of all time.

I someday hope to meet (Bruce the Director,)- Steven Spielberg named our Jaws Shark “Bruce” after his lawyer. There are sharks in this studio- both on land and water !

From here, the best part of the tour commences…all the most popular attractions lay in wait. Including that Shark named… Bruce.

Look who’s in Cabot Cove…Steven Spielberg shows Don how to…Surf with Sharks

Get Smart- gets the “hang of it”

“Please stay on the Tram Don, this shark attacks 20,000 people a day.” This old shark requires a lot of tuning up, like an old car…

A quiet moment with Bruce the Shark…”Start me up- start me up- you know I’ll never stop” Kinda looks like Mick too

Before we reach the shark we pass through another body of water known as -The Red Sea. We pause patiently as other trams move into and through- The Black Lagoon.

“Hey Don…It’s good to see ya again”-“You too, Richard Carlson. Is this what you’ve been doing for the last 20 plus years? asks Agent 86. This lake is full of hydraulic oil, that’s how it got its name-Black Lagoon, I point out. Sylvia Kristel was Don’s costar in his film involving our trams. She would make a great tour guide.

Sylvia has quite the resume as it turns out…we should definitely hire her! “She can jump start her career again here at WorldWide Studios -let’s do tours together Sylvia.” ” I’ll Guide you here, no one knows this place like I do.” She is a natural on that Microphone I’m quite certain.

Don Adams waits alongside our River Boat in our trolley. He makes a special announcement to his family on board. His family now includes myself and tour guide Paul. “That old paddle wheeler is where I met your mother, as he points outwards and upwards.

Dorothy Bracken former wife and mother of the group on board my tram.” ...How adorable is this ! Mother of Sean and Stacey Adams.

Adelaide Adams, below, had 4 of the children before Dorothy and Don created two more little secret agents…

There’s Mom…

86 -INDEED -“I like her-I like her a lot” look...as we get our green light for the Black Lagoon crossing.

“I can’t believe,” as I convince myself- I’m part The Get Smart Family. We slip and slide through The Murky Red Sea. Water Mines detonate casting water spray our way with the summer breeze.We all get a little wet here as we head to Jaws, then into the Flash Flood. Many scenes in The Nude Bomb were done in Cabot Cove, the site of the Jaws attraction.

This is most every kids favorite animation, the old Shark that lives in a lake. “PT -73 used to be docked here.” Paul retrospects. He enlightens us as I get in alignment on a metal and wood dock. The dock tilts as the shark warms up.This dock is designed for a 120″ foot tram, but I’m driving a 20″ foot San Francisco Trolley. Usually the shark pops up 4 times -one for each tram car. But this is a fraction in size throwing off my coworking shark. To compensate, I need to drive backwards for all four shark bites.

This is forbidden with a tilted dock. I’ve done this before, so I feel no real danger to Agent 86 and his family.Plus he has been in our lake before- if- I miscalculate.

“Here we go again, I do this 300 times a day. But it never gets old, just keep the hydraulics flowing!”

I hit a grand slam – 4 shark attempted bites on the same birthday boy, my present to Sean. “Happy Birthday kid you’re now one of us.” The cockpit recognizes the birthday boy. It offers him up as lunch to a mechanical shark. It will be a birthday he will never forget. I Love this Job…

We exit Cabot Cove and short cut into old Mexico. Thunder begins as we turn into a developing rain storm. “That’s not Good ” exclaims Paul “We have flashfloods in this area with downpours like these.” As I park, I realize myself and my driver seat is partially blocking Sean’s view. I step off onto the cobblestone roadway. As thunder gives way to an 18000 thousand gallon …Flash Flood.

The little trolley remains dry although a wave comes very close, a wall detours the tsunami. I catch the partial tidal wave as my sock and shoes get thoroughly drenched. Good Old Don Adams saw it all, “You missed it by that much,” as he laughs at my situation.

Yes I become one of these jokes-“Would you believe that much”

“Well, it’s my shoe phone I’m worried about” as I exchange a watery wit. He laughs, “They never work when you stand in puddles.”

“I’ll show him – I’ll make him scream for the Chief inside my – Ice Tunnel.”

The Trolley is our vehicle for this tour…

Train keeps a rolling…

I’m having so much fun I never want this to finish. As we enter this white spinning tube, equilibrium’s take time to adjust. This tiny vehicle will allow me to terrorize my guests. I park in the center as this illuminated tube turns clockwise. Now’s great time to have one last meaning moment with The Adams Family and Don in particular. First, I pour water out of my shoes. I’m in no hurry. As we say on the lot, “We get paid by the hour round here!”

A great place to park and spin stories…

This is nauseating for some. I check on the families’ welfare. They are enjoying their extended playtime, so I let us sit stationary as the tunnel turns.

“My favorite character was Hymie in your series. He was the robot who could do everything.” I’m all casual like now’s a good time to chat- as the ice world turns. Don looks at me Coy, as I retie my wet shoes. We have all day, “Had I had known this Birthday tour was scheduled- I would have brought a cake.”

I start questioning our star as the sound of a cold, stern wind gives ambiance…like where’s he gonna go?

Like he’s been captured by KAOS.

“Dick Gautier was a good friend. He was a great actor to work with.” This spirals out of Agent 86 as the wolves begin to howl inside this rotating …block of ice.

Hymie resembles Eddie Munster- a legend on this lot.

How many episodes did you do ? asks Paul as the world turns ?

Don answers ” 5 seasons worth ” “Buck Henry and Mel Brooks created the series.” Don continues with his insights.

This is an interesting location for an unexpected interview with a captive legend.

I share to his son -“The Six Million Dollar Man” filmed inside here, that’s a great show isn’t it?” He smiles in an affirmative expression. Some common ground for the Birthday Boy.

Even the 6 Million Dollar Man looks…apprehensive posing with Big Foot. Stop laughing at me- Farrah Fawcett

I now slowly- back up….

Sounds innocent-until your stomach disconnects with your brain, different parts of your body start revolving in different directions. Tour Guide Paul shares this to our guests “No One does the Ice Tunnel like Donnie”

Next, I put it in Drive. I step on the gas towards a door covered with glass. It appears there is no end. The forward sensation after going backwards is unique. It feels as if the tube continually spins. It’s like the sensation of time, space, and matter combining like astronauts in a space capsule. This is not the way we get trained…I’m a pioneer in tube travel, I’m your way in, and I’;m your way out…Buckle Up!.

Don # 86 seems to have had enough. I remind him his shoe phone won’t work in here either. I got him back on shoe phone humor. No one to call inside here…

I can’t help you Max -Are you calling from the Cone of Silence, why is it so loud ? Good Luck 86

“Get me out of here Chief, this driver I think works for…KAOS!”

Screams erupt, so I keep moving. I have the entire length of the tube now to go backwards. I proceed slowly to the open cave end we just entered through. Paul and I accelerate to the other end. We emulate what Sonny Hooper and Jan Michael Vincent did in the finale of Hooper. This is often where your stomach meets the road as the big glass door slowly moves in an outwards direction.

We head back to tram loading and finish our tour. Paul and I see and experience everyone on board pulling it together. We come to a full and complete stop in front of my leader- Iris, no less. We say our farewells to America’s Favorite Family as they step ground back into…. theme park KAOS.

Written and lived by…,Donnie Norden