Enough with the cuteness already…
Before Stardom…This man would be found on- Glamour Trams
A papier mache statue exists of this male figure-Jack Wagner- in the Tour Guide Breakroom. First A.D turned Director, Katy Garretson discusses this “tour seat icon extraordinaire.” She mentions that this is the example of hitting it big, she raves about him. Senior guides kiss the vinyl seat he gave tours on. A legend -like our founder, Lew Wasserman.
These two guides exemplify courage behind the microphone. Katy is in the process of punching her own Bingo card. She has just returned to us via location work in Japan. This woman has “SWAG.”
She is intelligent and possesses a sharp wit. She is a take charge alpha dog. She follows some rules. However, she is not afraid to let her hair down and go “Off Script.” She was a guide before I took the steering wheel. She shares special wisdom about the “bag of nuts” that run our Studio Tour Operations.
Katy is winding down her tram career for an even more prestigious Quantum Leap into showbiz.
And I wish to thank The Glamour Tram for my inspiration in becoming the Director I am today!
Careers our launched in 100 degree summer days on board these star making contraptions. Endless expressions look her way, like she is in a play. Instant feedback, no editing here…we’re live, we’re bad, we’re Nation Wide.
These Trams are large because.…we have big egos.
We all want to be somewhere else, I suppose. Not me, I used to sneak on these trams long before I was hired. Guides become frustrated due to low pay and because- promises promises promises – don’t pay the rent. I can’t get enough of this place where pretty faces come and go. The Guide Breakroom is a struggling actor workshop in between tours. Guides call their agents for updates or call times as an extra…somewhere.
The Drivers discuss putting in a dance pole for our ‘Clubber Guides” that have night jobs. We will put it in our smoke filled, male oriented break room, for club ambiance training. Teamsters are good at this.
Jack Wagner, Jack Wagner, Jack Wagner
I have no idea who this guy is- he left right before I arrived. I never watched soap operas, like what guy does. But, he is Tram Gospel in this sacred landscape of -Sharks, Monsters and Aliens . Drivers match and raise you…we got our own stud -Ted. Ted was a Cosmopolitan centerfold. He hired in with me as we learned how to operate these Glamour Trams. together. Ted works on Airwolf, my favorite show on the lot, as an actor, and sometimes a driver. We all grab shows when the tour count falls low in the off season. Free agents until tourism blooms again. This when many guides disappear, never to return.
I document our training in early installments of Glamour Tram if you need a refresher course.
Ted is a ringer, male model, actor and a pastor. He has more scruples than anyone on this hilltop. Just ask Helen Gurly Brown. To top that off, B.G is a producer at Imagine Pictures- is his relative. Ted has a list of TV credits and has achieved everything all tour guides want to be. I’m proud to have Ted as a friend.
We love Ted -Who doesn’t!…Who is Jack Wagner?
Legendary tour guide -that’s who!
Bigger than any Emmy Award he is nominated for- his tours are legendary. His legacy is cemented here in Tram Folklore.His hand prints are proudly displayed in cement at Prop Plaza. Jack it turns out- is the role model and inspiration for every guide that that sits in that ‘backwards chair.”
I don’t know him but I do now. His picture should be on the running board of advertisements that look down on customers to start subliminal overt brainwashing. You exit these trams with an urge to buy something if we did our jobs correctly. So much more to be had…for a small fee.
You don’t have to venture far around here to find a star. Right outside our front door is a turnstile of stars coming and going. You might not recognize them-yet, which means they probably are not receiving residual checks either. But someday, just like Jack Wagner -unknowingly your number may be called. Discovery can happen anywhere.
Guides pick up their game when spotting producer types on the route. A burst of energy ensues suddenly. It’s like a-whats wrong with her moment.Then you see why, oh this is my moment to be discovered. They try. They try so hard. However, they are up against it. It’s like a wheel chock holding a tram tire in place. I’m stuck here forever speed as optimism turns back into doubt. Some just want to become DRIVERS…
Stardom isn’t promised here, it must be achieved. We salute and value the efforts all employees put forth. Advancement does exist. Gate Poppers and Orange Cone patrol often advance to Operations. What that does is put you on salary. Sounds great, until you work 12 hours a day with no overtime, because you excepted salary. It’s a ploy to save overtime pay. Drivers costs are the most extreme bill this tour faces. Teamster Mechanics are the true stars stars here. When we get stuck in high water at the Red Sea, we call The Garage. If we fail to make it up a hill, The Garage is also who we call on our C.B Radios.
“Wild Bill” and his boys gets us out of trouble one way or the other. Greasy with oil, these mechanics respond as if we are in the Indy 500. A truck with dual tires and a 4 wheel drive burns rubber as we connect bumbers. Tires creates thick gray smoke. Bill yells ‘step on it’ to the driver. He hangs out the cab waving his cowboy hat to his admiring fans. Tour Guides sing with appreciation no longer having to talk non stop.
Anyone can be a star around here on any given day…We are all- BOLD and BEAUTIFUl on the most famous tour in all the Universe-located right here in Hollywood U.S.A. “Action Jack-we are Rolling!”
Written and lived by ..,.Donnie Norden
Glamour Tram Stories 