Prop Plaza is clear to land…
The tight winding road circles around a large phone and even larger shopping cart before passing under a waterfall. Props used in the Incredible Shrinking Woman create a lure for travelers to exit happily for some overpriced refreshments. No drinking fountains up here, just a very hot summer sun. Employees know this is a cash grab. This area provides a place to store cattle “tour guests” on super crowded summers and holidays.
Fire codes regarding over crowding has Tour Operations spreading out guests through out our lot. 31 Glamour and Supertrams provide mobile segmentation. This tour is a well oiled machine as is each 16 wheel tram. Your entry ticket provides inclusion to this rest stop that greets you half way through your driven tour. You just lost your breath on the collapsing bridge. You endured the steep climb. Many trams struggle to reach the Hollywood Terrace / Prop Plaza guest stop.
Many guests wish to defer from exiting. They see the long line of frustrated families driving by. These families are waiting to reboard for the second half of the professionally guided tour.
Deferring is not an option…
This is when the guide and driver get flack from the customers refusing to debark. Technically, from a driver standpoint, the next maneuver I must do requires no load in the trailers. We carry out a precision tight squeeze around a horseshoe turn. Cement barriers are a foot along each tram side. This is how we pull in to the final position to reload this 120-foot people mover. We can’t see the trailers clearly. So, we must trust our instruments to execute the complex tram positioning safely.
Those instruments would be a steering wheel, airbrakes, and a front left tire in particular. This area was originally designed safely for a smaller tram that holds 125 guests. Now, WorldWide Studios purchased 20 trams that carry 175 guests in their wide body. This creates the tightest of squeezes. We are proud Hollywood Teamsters can run anything on 2,4, 12, or 16 wheels. I have a smile on my face, and I’m dressed in polyester pants, and an orange shirt. I look like an ice cream vendor, not a Teamster.
Follow the Yellow Brick Road…
A yellow painted line is the most key part in correctly being positioned. This is the most important yellow line on this movie lot. Under no-terms can you vary from this line. Your front left tire must be exactly on the edge. Otherwise, you will hit a cement wall. Patient guests finally see there escape vehicle coming to save them. Kids are excited again. Parents can’t wait to sit down. The anticipation of part 2 of the driven tour will start as quickly as 175 guests can take a seat.
Down the home stretch we come, my tour guide on my side, seated with a microphone and showbiz good looks. All systems are normal. The landing gear is down. An obstacle suddenly presents itself on that exact yellow line. A lined up with 200 guests waiting to board. I continue as slow as possible over this paper type object, a mob is waiting, more people than seats. All Tour employees generate happy smiles as we merge with the public.
Ten feet from my stopping mark everyone’s excitement is jolted. A “POP,” as loud as a shot gun goes off. Like a bomb was just detonated.Pellets disperse like Buckshot. Thousands of brown pellets have “unloaded” themselves on the unsuspecting and visibly disturbed guests. This moment unravels instantly yet unsuspectingly, like a time release tablet or a game of domino’s after the LOUD pop. Then facial reactions as people realize what this substance is…speechless, disgusted, and panicked as guests have been blasted by a babies tiny diaper. It seems as if this kid ate like a pony.
Shit hits the Fan– it’s a heavily packed diaper…
People start examining themselves like Chimps at the Animal Actor Stage. No part of your body is safe. Clothes, skin, hair – all being potential….Hazardous Waste. Not the employees, “we all dodged that bullet, but we weren’t trained for this!”
This is a job for OPERATIONS.…
The tour must go on-“But Not With These People.” Clean families can come board Haz Mat, is on its way as is Engine 51 of Emergency Fame. No one is physically injured, just their pride and probably their vacation in Hollywood. “Disneyland has accidents too” says Mike Meltdown from tour operations. Very calming words of wisdom. He remains speechless, surveying this main artery, just clenching his walkie-talkie, speechless.
Instantly, every souvenir item we can offer is rushed to this Hollywood Terrace. Clothing is rushed up as guests many guests are in need of it. In some cases, they must completely undress. They then wear sanitary clean gift apparel from JAWS The REVENGE and The A-TEAM. In fact, the A-Team van is parked next to the line cues. Cups bearing Sharks and MR. T emblems are handed out at NO-Charge- “a seven dollar value.“
“Help us Please- their is shit everywhere”
“Mom and Dad really smell bad, I’m not sitting next to them anymore!”
Employees in the middle of this meltdown keep “concerned looks” on their faces, but struggle to keep from laughing. Frankly, “we can’t stop laughing!”
All Aboard, next stop-The Flashflood, 10,000 Gallons of Black Water will clean you up – a bit!
Written and lived by….Donnie Norden
Glamour Tram Stories 